“Peter, these christmas lights make me wanna piss in your face,” Peter’s wife, Linda, said to him. “Really?” Peter asked. “Yeah I don’t know why. But when I look at them and then look at you, I wanna piss in your face,” she said. “What a strange phenomena,” Peter said. “Do you think it’s becauseContinue reading “Clit Mag Rewind (Issue 5) – Peter Pee Pee Face”
Carl just got home from a long, hard day at work. As he walked through the front door the lights came on and people jumped out and yelled surprise. It was Carl’s twenty-first birthday, and all his friends gathered to celebrate. Carl’s wife Debbie said, “Happy Birthday, guy. You’re getting a dang vasectomy.” “Uh…What? When?”Continue reading “Clit Mag Rewind (Issue 2) – Dicks of Blood Bleeding”
In the land of wax chickens only the unmeltable survive. And Clive the chicken was not unmeltable. He woke up and opened the French doors in his bedroom and walked onto the balcony. He took a deep breath of air into his chicken lungs and then called for his servant. A young chicken with TwinkiesContinue reading “Clit Mag Rewind (Issue 5) – Land of Wax Chickens”
That’s not true. George, remember
all the fun we had playing Duck Hunt when
Alice was in the bathroom puking on New Years?
Well, you look like shit.
Sorry, Carla. I’m just really depressed. Feel so alone in this world.
Before I began working here, inside the worm, I was feeling weird as if something were a bit off with reality. I had felt this way for quite sometime. I ignored it. Not forever. Something, whatever was happening wasn’t going away. I knew asking the doctor would bring bad news. It did. Her words asContinue reading “Talentless | don’t bring me down”
My lunch expired. Everything expires in here. It’s fine though I can just tell myself it makes me a better worker. Builds that thing called character I’ve heard people talk about. Possessing character would make me a more desirable human to swallow as a whole. I don’t dare ask the doctor why I can’t catchContinue reading “Talentless | welcome to the…”