Clit Mag Rewind (Issue 3) – Koala Bears and Nursing Homes

​Justine had a love for koala bears unmatched by anyone in her nursing home. Even though she was just nineteen she wanted nothing more than to be an  old, feeble dying lady. That’s why her heart sank when the warden came in and punched her in the face with words like, “You’re too young forContinue reading “Clit Mag Rewind (Issue 3) – Koala Bears and Nursing Homes”

Tiny Moments with Bloody Cop

​Detective Murky: Hurry up and catch up to them already, Gonzalez! Detective Gonzalez: Pedal is to the metal, partner. Murky: That ain’t good enough. I’ll be back. Gonzalez: Christ, Hank. Get back here. Why are you going on the hood? Murky: I seen it in a movie. Calm down. Gonzalez: We’re going 72 miles–71 milesContinue reading “Tiny Moments with Bloody Cop”

Clit Mag Rewind (Issue 5) – Land of Wax Chickens

In the land of wax chickens only the unmeltable survive. And Clive the chicken was not unmeltable. He woke up and opened the French doors in his bedroom and walked onto the balcony. He took a deep breath of air into his chicken lungs and then called for his servant. A young chicken with TwinkiesContinue reading “Clit Mag Rewind (Issue 5) – Land of Wax Chickens”

Tiny Moments with Bloody Cop

​Jane Murky: Were you out copping all day, big boy? Detective Murky: That’s right. Jane Murky: You know what they say about a man who comes home all covered in blood. Detective Murky: I don’t do gossip, lady. Jane Murky: It means other things are probably covered in blood too. Wink. Wink. Detective Murky: AreContinue reading “Tiny Moments with Bloody Cop”

Clit Mag Rewind (Issue 5) – Fart Gallery 

Ben was arguing with the director at the art gallery yelling, “Why doesn’t it smell in here?” “Excuse me? I’m not sure what you mean,” the art director said. Ben started sniffing very loudly and said, “I thought this was a fart gallery! I expected it to smell like one!” “It’s an art gallery, sir.Continue reading “Clit Mag Rewind (Issue 5) – Fart Gallery “

Tiny Moments with Bloody Cop

Drive Thru Employee: Umm…uh, sir. You’re covered in blood. Detective Murky: Well, I guess I should say fuck you for bringing that to my attention. Employee: I’m sorry. I just didn’t know if you were aware. That’s all. Murky: That’s good, lady. Maybe we can be friends. Employee: Okay. Murky: Well maybe I don’t needContinue reading “Tiny Moments with Bloody Cop”

5 Tips for a Funeral You Won’t Forget

5 Tips for a Funeral You Won’t Forget Sometimes it’s almost a total bummer walking into a room with a dead body. Everyone appears to be so reserved. But with a little effort you can be the life of the funeral. A star in the big lights of decaying corpses. That could be you: Mr.Continue reading “5 Tips for a Funeral You Won’t Forget”