Tiny Moments with Bloody Cop

​Jane Murky: Why are you punching so many holes in our living room wall? Detective Murky: This is what happens when I hear Shania Twain. Jane Murky: Shania Twain isn’t even on right now. Detective Murky: I know. I’m just saying this is what would happen if she was on. Jane Murky: Then you’re justContinue reading “Tiny Moments with Bloody Cop”

Clit Mag Rewind  (Issue 5) – Heads Will Roll

​Eddie was a chiropractor, and he was adjusting the first patient of the day. “How does that feel?” he asked the lady. “Good,” she said. “Ok I’m going to crack your neck now,” Eddie said. As he was cracking her neck her head fell off. “Eh. WTF,” Eddie said to himself. “Such bullshit,” he saidContinue reading “Clit Mag Rewind  (Issue 5) – Heads Will Roll”

Tiny Moments with Bloody Cop 

​Detective Murky: I can sing back up vocals. Police Chief: What the hell are you talking about, Murky? Detective Murky: The band, idiot. I can sing back up. Police Chief: Not a band. A ban. On police brutality. You folks gotta knock it off. Detective Murky: We can’t write catchy lyrics about that. Police Chief:Continue reading “Tiny Moments with Bloody Cop “

Clit Mag Rewind (Issue 2) – Not Phil!

​Rafael had his eye on the woman of his dreams. She was small, hand-held and yellow. A beautiful state-of-the-art pencil sharpener. Rafael was in love. For days he would just sit at his cubicle and peek through the cracks in the divider at this wonderful, sexy pencil sharpener. Everyday he watched as one after anotherContinue reading “Clit Mag Rewind (Issue 2) – Not Phil!”

Tiny Moments with Bloody Cop 

​Detective Rodriguez: Well well. Look at the massive pontoons on this guy. Detective Murky: Sorry, lady I don’t know who you think you are, but this is my crime scene now so get on out the way. Detective Rodriguez: You can call me Switchblade Sally.  That is, if you can say anything at all withContinue reading “Tiny Moments with Bloody Cop “

Clit Mag Rewind (Issue 1) – Hammer Time

​Everyone stood frozen in time staring up into the sky as nails rained down from above. The ocean had begun spewing out nails right after the series finale of ‘Lost’. As if to say, “I’m way better than that island,” or “Here’s a fucking mystery for you.” Thirty seconds later it became quite apparent justContinue reading “Clit Mag Rewind (Issue 1) – Hammer Time”

Tiny Moments with Bloody Cop

​Detective Murky: Kids, this is Bloody Cop here to tell you not to be filthy dirtbags.  Director: Let’s try that again. Little less adlib this time. And maybe put out the cigarette. Detective Murky: Kids, Bloody Cop here to remind you about personal hygiene. Right now I’m brushing my teeth. Ain’t cause I want to,Continue reading “Tiny Moments with Bloody Cop”

Clit Mag Rewind (Issue 2) – Dicks of Blood Bleeding

​Carl just got home from a long, hard day at work. As he walked through the front door the lights came on and people jumped out and yelled surprise. It was Carl’s twenty-first birthday, and all his friends gathered to celebrate. Carl’s wife Debbie said, “Happy Birthday, guy. You’re getting a dang vasectomy.” “Uh…What? When?”Continue reading “Clit Mag Rewind (Issue 2) – Dicks of Blood Bleeding”