She wanted nothing more than the heads to stay on the lady. Karen had run the carnival for years, and for years the lady with four heads had threatened to remove her heads if she didn’t get a raise. The four-headed lady was better known to the public as Quadro Lady. And with winter fast … More Clit Mag Rewind (Issue 4) – Carnie Fever
Jane Murky: Why are you punching so many holes in our living room wall? Detective Murky: This is what happens when I hear Shania Twain. Jane Murky: Shania Twain isn’t even on right now. Detective Murky: I know. I’m just saying this is what would happen if she was on. Jane Murky: Then you’re just … More Tiny Moments with Bloody Cop
Eddie was a chiropractor, and he was adjusting the first patient of the day. “How does that feel?” he asked the lady. “Good,” she said. “Ok I’m going to crack your neck now,” Eddie said. As he was cracking her neck her head fell off. “Eh. WTF,” Eddie said to himself. “Such bullshit,” he said … More Clit Mag Rewind (Issue 5) – Heads Will Roll
Detective Murky: I can sing back up vocals. Police Chief: What the hell are you talking about, Murky? Detective Murky: The band, idiot. I can sing back up. Police Chief: Not a band. A ban. On police brutality. You folks gotta knock it off. Detective Murky: We can’t write catchy lyrics about that. Police Chief: … More Tiny Moments with Bloody Cop
Rafael had his eye on the woman of his dreams. She was small, hand-held and yellow. A beautiful state-of-the-art pencil sharpener. Rafael was in love. For days he would just sit at his cubicle and peek through the cracks in the divider at this wonderful, sexy pencil sharpener. Everyday he watched as one after another … More Clit Mag Rewind (Issue 2) – Not Phil!
Detective Rodriguez: Well well. Look at the massive pontoons on this guy. Detective Murky: Sorry, lady I don’t know who you think you are, but this is my crime scene now so get on out the way. Detective Rodriguez: You can call me Switchblade Sally. That is, if you can say anything at all with … More Tiny Moments with Bloody Cop
Everyone stood frozen in time staring up into the sky as nails rained down from above. The ocean had begun spewing out nails right after the series finale of ‘Lost’. As if to say, “I’m way better than that island,” or “Here’s a fucking mystery for you.” Thirty seconds later it became quite apparent just … More Clit Mag Rewind (Issue 1) – Hammer Time
Detective Murky: Kids, this is Bloody Cop here to tell you not to be filthy dirtbags. Director: Let’s try that again. Little less adlib this time. And maybe put out the cigarette. Detective Murky: Kids, Bloody Cop here to remind you about personal hygiene. Right now I’m brushing my teeth. Ain’t cause I want to, … More Tiny Moments with Bloody Cop