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Unthinkable Cramps | Christmas in Unthinkable Cramps
Hank stands in line dripping blood like the disgusting bloody cop that he is. He waits with his wife and two daughters for their picture with Santa. The line is beginning to move faster. All the Christmas lights in the storefront windows have turned on. Everyone’s breath hangs in the chill air doing a dance…
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Unthinkable Cramps | George and the Flyer
George mopes down the windy sidewalk with dirt blowing in his eyes. He scratches them until they bleed. A flyer is forced off a telephone pole by a strong gust and through the air. It ducks under signs and excuses its abrupt visitation on passersby, “Pardon me, I didn’t want to be here. So sorry.”…
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Unthinkable Cramps | Belinda Breaks
Sasha and Yoyo sleep with their eyes closed and heads outside their tents to warm their nightmares by the fire. But blocking the heat, unable to sleep, sits Belinda staring into the flames. A marshmallow melts away at the end of a short stick as the heat crawls up her hoof. The events from earlier…
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Unthinkable Cramps | Ria.Weirdo Love
There’s one hillside in Unthinkable Cramps. There could be more, but everyone stopped counting after one. It’s a great spot to go for peace and quiet. To contemplate the deep mysteries of life. To stop and smell the roses. The perfect place for a first date. And Ria and Disgusting are falling head over heels…
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Unthinkable Cramps | Special Announcements!
It’s the new sensation and it’s coming to your door. Who’s door? Burnin’ Willie’s door. It’s only your door if you’re Burnin’ Willie or the person planning on murdering him and living in his house aka his murderer. The only thing hotter in Unthinkable Cramps than Burnin’ Willie are the sounds from indie rockers, Soul…
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Unthinkable Cramps | Nova Olsen’s New Findings
/ Previously in Unthinkable Cramps / Mac is gripping the papers so tightly they begin to tear. His eyes as wide as oceans as he watches Nova run to the corner of the room and bounce off adjacent walls making her way up to the ceiling. She braces herself at the top and pushes in…
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Unthinkable Cramps | Murky, Sanchez and Soul Pods
Murky leaps over the pile of bones and dashes out the back of the restaurant. He looks left and right for Donny and his mother. Then up and down. He sees a bird squawking in a tree and shoots it. He catches a whiff of meatballs and murder in the air and runs to the…
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Unthinkable Cramps | Diane & Sheila.Droning So Hard
Diane and Sheila are perched on the roof, the sun reflecting off their tinfoil hats. Sheila watches nervously as Diane navigates a drone over the neighbor’s house.Diane: Why are these things so hard to fly?Sheila: Keep it steady.Diane: I’m trying.Sheila: Make it go in the backyard.Diane flies the drone over the fence and watches the…