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Dr. Voltron
Oh the horror, the madness on that operating table as I looked down on my patient while I received the most intense wedgie imaginable. Who was this person with their guts hanging out and mocking me while my underwear stretched beyond its recommended length? Leave me alone with your blood and gore I can not…
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Ancient Betsy
TONY ESPINO ANCIENT BETSY V1.1 ORIGINAL DRAFT 5/19/2015 INT. BATHROOM BETSY is staring in the mirror talking to ELROY standing behind her. She’s scrunching her face in unnatural positions. BETSY Look at this wrinkle on my forehead. I’m ancient. ELROY (sarcastic) Yup. You’re so ancient. BETSY I’m like dying right before my eyes. This sucks.…
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Dentist
TONY ESPINO DENTIST V1.1 ORIGINAL DRAFT 6/8/15 INT. DENTIST OFFICE – DAY BETSY is waiting in the room when her DENTIST enters. DENTIST Alright Betsy hop up on this chair right here, and we’ll take a look at those teeth for ya. Betsy gets in the chair and the Dentist looks in her mouth. DENTIST…
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Guru
TONY ESPINO GURU V1.1 ORIGINAL DRAFT 6/5/15 INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY A spiritual GURU is lying in a hospital bed dying. His two most faithful devotees, ELROY and OLIVE, are by his side. GURU These are my final moments. You two have been the most faithful of all my followers. ELROY You’ve taught us…
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Drive-in
TONY ESPINO DRIVE-IN V1.1 ORIGINAL DRAFT 6/10/15 INT. CAR – NIGHT ELROY and BETSY sit in the car watching a movie at the drive in. BETSY Thanks for bringing me to the drive in. But this movie is so scary, Elroy. ELROY I love it when you’re scared, baby. BETSY It’s Betsy. And I don’t…
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New Car
TONY ESPINO NEW CAR V1.1 ORIGINAL DRAFT 6/1/15 INT. CAR DEALERSHIP – DAY A hip car SALESMAN is sitting at a desk across from OLIVE and her very unhip MOM. SALESMAN Well, Olive I think you’re going to be pretty happy with your new whip. OLIVE I think so too. SALESMAN It’s a fast one.…
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Quicksand
TONY ESPINO QUICKSAND V1.1 ORIGINAL DRAFT 5/28/15 EXT. WOODS – DAY OLIVE and BETSY are walking through the woods. BETSY I have no idea how we lost your mom. She was right behind us. Olive checks her cellphone. OLIVE She just texted me. She’s stuck in quicksand. BETSY What did she say? OLIVE “I’m stuck…
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Testing
TONY ESPINO TESTING V1.1 ORIGINAL DRAFT 5/27/15 INT. CLASSROOM – DAY BETSY sits at her desk staring blankly at her test. OTTO sits behind her. MR. COOPER sits at his desk. BETSY Brain you need to start working. What’s your deal? She taps her head. BETSY (CONT’D) Anyone home? I need some answers. OTTO Can…
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