Category Archives: humor

Talentless | don’t bring me down

Before I began working here, inside the worm, I was feeling weird as if something were a bit off with reality. I had felt this way for quite sometime. I ignored it. Not forever. Something, whatever was happening wasn’t going away. I knew asking the doctor would bring bad news. It did. Her words asContinue reading “Talentless | don’t bring me down”

Talentless | welcome to the…

My lunch expired. Everything expires in here. It’s fine though I can just tell myself it makes me a better worker. Builds that thing called character I’ve heard people talk about. Possessing character would make me a more desirable human to swallow as a whole. I don’t dare ask the doctor why I can’t catchContinue reading “Talentless | welcome to the…”

Mall Santa

TONY ESPINO MALL SANTA V1.1 ORIGINAL DRAFT 12/3/15 INT. MALL – DAY We see ALICE and her daughter VANESSA waiting in line to see SANTA. VANESSA Mom! I really want to see Santa. Why is it taking so long? ALICE Because we have to wait for these other kids to tell him what they want.Continue reading “Mall Santa”

Dr. Voltron

Oh the horror, the madness on that operating table as I looked down on my patient while I received the most intense wedgie imaginable. Who was this person with their guts hanging out and mocking me while my underwear stretched beyond its recommended length? Leave me alone with your blood and gore I can notContinue reading “Dr. Voltron”

Sabrina The Teenage Witch

TONY ESPINO SABRINA V1.1 ORIGINAL DRAFT 10/14/15 EXT. WOODS – DAY OTTO and ELROY are walking through the woods when they spot SABRINA THE TEENAGE WITCH. OTTO Look, Elroy. There she is! ELROY Stop right there, Sabrina The Teenage Witch! SABRINA THE TEENAGE WITCH What do you two witch hunters want? OTTO We just wantContinue reading “Sabrina The Teenage Witch”