Overheard Airline Pilot Convo

                               VOICE 1
                     Tell me how that's important at a
                     time like this?

                               VOICE 2
                     As if I could say words right now
                     that would justify this whole
                     situation to someone like you.

                               VOICE 1
                     Someone like me?

                               VOICE 2
                     Yeah someone like you. Someone like
                     -

                               VOICE 1
                     Like someone who's gonna kick your
                     ass.

                               VOICE 2
                     Like an alien from another star
                     system altogether.

                               VOICE 1
                     I have drugs in my body.

                               VOICE 2
                     Is that why you're so annoying?

                               VOICE 1
                     Oh excuse me?

                               VOICE 2
                     I'm kidding. A joke. Like Steve
                     Martin. 

                               VOICE 1
                     Steve Martin doesn't have to tell
                     people when he's joking. 

                               VOICE 2
                     That's the drugs talking.

                               VOICE 1
                     The drugs. Me. What's the
                     difference? 

                               VOICE 2
                     You're not you when you're riddled
                     with whatever you're on.

                               VOICE 1
                     Very astute of you. I am beyond
                     human when I'm high. Which is quite
                     the appeal of drugs.

                               VOICE 2
                     You need a haircut. 

                               VOICE 1
                     You need a haircut.

                               VOICE 2
                     Don't get mad. I'm just saying it
                     might make you feel better. Might
                     not need to get high so much.

                               VOICE 1
                     It might make me feel? No thank
                     you.

                               VOICE 2
                     This guy I follow on twitter said
                     doing things like working out,
                     buying new clothes getting a
                     haircut remind you of your
                     humanness and like make you respect
                     that and you start to feel grateful
                     and happy.

                               VOICE 1
                     Is this your clever way of trying
                     to get drugs out of me by making me
                     puke? 

                               VOICE 2
                     No.

                               VOICE 1
                     Not a real question.

                               VOICE 2
                     You're high how would you know?

                               VOICE 1
                     Got lil goblin voices telling me so
                     in my head. 

                               VOICE 2
                     I hope you're joking right now.

                               VOICE 1
                     You tell me, Steve Martin.

                               VOICE 2
                     I have scissors. I can totally cut
                     your hair.

                               VOICE 1
                     So you think I get high because I
                     have low self esteem like I don't
                     value myself enough? 

                               VOICE 2
                     In so many words. Yeah.

                               VOICE 1
                     And manipulating the length of my
                     hair will change that? Have you
                     presented these findings to a
                     scientific journal for review?

                               VOICE 2
                     I told you it's a guy I follow on
                     twitter. He's like a genius or
                     whatever. 

                               VOICE 1
                     I guess people believe whatever's
                     in a twitter bio.

                               VOICE 2
                     People believe the truth. He
                     doesn't even need to put it in his
                     bio because everything he writes
                     reflects his pure genius.

                               VOICE 1
                     But is it in his bio?

                               VOICE 2
                     Whatever. Let me just cut your
                     bangs.

                               VOICE 1
                     I don't have bangs. Get away from
                     me with those scissors.

                               VOICE 2
                     They'll understand. Tell them you
                     were high.

                               VOICE 1
                     Who? Tell who?

                               VOICE 2
                     Whoever you've been talking to this
                     whole time. 

                               VOICE 1
                     You. You want me to tell you? Are
                     you sure you're not the one--

                               VOICE 2
                     On drugs. 

                               VOICE 1
                     I can finish my own sentences. I'm
                     all grown up. We're not like a duo
                     performing for vaudeville. This
                     isn't like a thing, okay? I'm just
                     trapped in here with you.

                               VOICE 2
                     That's a lie. You're on some other
                     planet as I've mentioned earlier.
                     I'm on this little place called
                     earth trying to anchor you down so
                     you don't fly off into the void for
                     -

                               VOICE 1
                     All eternity. And yet it's the only
                     place that feels like home.

                               VOICE 2
                     Earth could feel like home if you
                     let me cut those bangs.

                               VOICE 1
                     I don't trust you with scissors.
                     How do I know you won't slip and
                     cut my heart out?

                               VOICE 2
                     You just have to trust that I read
                     an article and that if anything bad
                     happens I have krazy glue. 

                               VOICE 1
                     Can I sniff it? 

                               VOICE 2
                     Is that a real question? 

                               VOICE 1
                     Of course it's a real--

                               VOICE 2
                     Because the other one wasn't. If I
                     was in your head right now--

                               VOICE 1
                     You're not in my head right now.

                               VOICE 2
                     But if I was. Would I know that's a
                     real question?

                               VOICE 1
                     Would you know if you were in my
                     head?

                               VOICE 2
                     Would you know? 

                               VOICE 1
                     Uh yeah. I would fucking know. If
                     it suddenly got too crowded in
                     there I would be the first to know.

                               VOICE 2
                     Too crowded how?

                               VOICE 1
                     Like more than one voice too
                     crowded.

                               VOICE 2
                     What if that one voice was always
                     someone else's voice? Say my voice.

                               VOICE 1
                     I'd say you're fucking high. Not
                     me. 

                               VOICE 2
                     For all you know. The voice you've
                     grown so used to has been me. And
                     whatever voice you think is yours
                     is actually the imposter. 

                               VOICE 1
                     Impossible theory. Also I told you
                     I would be the first to know if it
                     was too crowded up in this steel
                     trap of my mind. 

                               VOICE 2
                     The doors to our minds are always
                     open. Not so much a steel trap as
                     it is a straw hut.

                               VOICE 1
                     You gonna lecture me about
                     something containing a metaphor
                     about a big bad wolf?

                               VOICE 2
                     I can't really explain it like the
                     guy on twitter did.

                               VOICE 1
                     Cause he's a genius.

                               VOICE 2
                     He is. 

                               VOICE 1
                     So none of that was you?

                               VOICE 2
                     What you mean?

                               VOICE 1
                     Like here I am thinking this is the
                     most interesting you've ever been.
                     Nutty as hell but interesting.
                     Turns out it wasn't really you.

                               VOICE 2
                     But it was me. It came from my
                     mouth. 

                               VOICE 1
                     Yeah but that twitter dude was in
                     your head. His voice not yours. 

                               VOICE 2
                     I wouldn't really say--

                               VOICE 1
                     Listen, I won't hold it against
                     you. 

                               VOICE 2
                     Hold what against me?

                               VOICE 1
                     Being interesting. I'll strike it
                     from the record. 

Published by tony espino

a human. for now.

3 thoughts on “Overheard Airline Pilot Convo

  1. This is so interesting, Tony!
    They do seem like a comedy duo. What’s with the scissors and the bangs. I think that guy on Twitter may need a haircut too. Probably missed putting that in his bio.
    You’re talented at manipulating words and the feelings they arouse. 🙂

    1. Thanks! That’s a very nice compliment. Lol I don’t know why he’s so obsessed with trying to give that guy a haircut. He just won’t leave him alone until he can cut him some bangs. Poor fella.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: