U.C. | Sasha & Yoyo in the Shapeshifting Factory

Sasha and Yoyo sneak through the corridors of the shapeshifting factory on the first floor that houses many strange creatures in prison-like cells. Each one a mad experiment designed by madder men. In one cell a donkey with explosive urine. In another the torso of a man attached to a rotating sphere of energy capable of sucking up objects and sending them into an astral void. 

Sasha watches a cloud collapse to the cold, cell floor and have a seizure. Branches stretch out from its core and reach for her. She jumps back and asks, “What are we robbing from this place exactly?”

“All these creations are products for this company.” Yoyo says. “Imagine a bizarre boutique for terrorists looking to think outside the box.”

“So you knew this place creates and supplies weapons for terrorists and you were just not going to tell me that until we got here?”

“Yeah. Whatever. Listen don’t start complaining about how you hate this job again. There’s a vault of cash somewhere in the basement. Believe it or not they don’t sell to as many terrorists as you think. Most still prefer old, traditional methods. So chill.”

An elevator door rings. They hide behind a corner and wait for two scientists to exit before sneaking into the elevator behind them. Yoyo pushes the button for the basement. The doors close.

“Why do you know so much about terrorists again?”

Yoyo waits for the elevator to move. “The bulk of this company’s money comes from rich people overseas. The kind of people my kids resent me for not being. Psychopaths looking to own the latest exotic pet so their children have something interesting to post on social media. My stupid kids follow all those idiots online. That’s the only reason I know about this place.”

The elevator beeps. 

Sasha unholsters the revolvers on her chest. “Here we go. Let’s make this quick.”

The last thing the guards see before bullets pierce their skulls are the golden pupils beneath Sasha’s mask and Yoyo’s scrambling blur of a face. 

They drag a guard’s corpse to a locked door and use his eye for entrance. The door opens up to the smell of engine oil and hot air. A large, steel machine with an opening emitting flames hums on the factory floor. It consumes whatever items it needs for its creation and spits out the rest. The floor is a mess of human and animal remains tangled around electrical wires that are soaked in radioactive chemicals. 

Yoyo smashes the window to a control room with the butt of her rifle. Sasha climbs through as Yoyo stands guard. Sasha shoots through a door leading to an office.

“You see anything?” Yoyo asks.

Sasha stands in front of a massive vault, clearly impervious to bullets. “We need explosives.”

Yoyo rushes over to assess the situation. “What are those buttons for over there on the wall?”

Sasha smashes various buttons that look like they shouldn’t be smashed, setting off alarms. 

“What are the odds that’s a dinner bell?” Sasha asks. 

“I just asked what they were for. I didn’t tell you to push them all.”

“I was taking initiative.”

The sound of angry guards ready to unleash violence forces Sasha and Yoyo to abandon the vault. As they reenter the factory floor a wall of a dozen armed men block the exit. One of them yells, fire! Bullets fly back and forth and the two sides fall into a weird rhythmic pattern like a deadly drum circle with the shapeshifting machine providing a steady tempo.  Even though they’re trying to kill one another, on a deeper subconscious level they’re still driven to create together. Man’s need to communicate and express the beauty of the soul even with his enemy. 

“Die motherfuckers!” Yoyo demands. 

More guards file onto the factory floor. The machine glows and emits a bright green light. A horse appears inside the beam. It trots around the floor narrowly dodging bullets. 

“Come on,” Yoyo says. “We’re going horseback riding.”

Sasha and Yoyo jump on the horse. Yoyo takes the reins and quickly discovers the horse contains a deadly poison. They advance on the armed wall and shoot their way through with bullets and venom. Yoyo steers the horse up a flight of stairs, trampling any guards that get in the way. 

When they reach the first floor they’re greeted by chaos in the corridors. 

“Oh no! See what happens when you try to take initiative?” Yoyo says.

The cages have been opened. The monsters are pissing bombs and swallowing each other into their voids. 

The horse gallops toward the exit and spits venom at a giraffe standing in their way. Its front leg melts, dropping it to its knees. The horse jumps over its back and out the door. The giraffe follows after them on three legs. Its eyes turn black and direct two laser beams in the horse’s direction. As the horse reaches the road the laser beam reaches its target and dismembers Sasha’s left arm. 

Yoyo yells at the horse to run faster. She hears Sasha shouting about something. Once she suspects they’re in the clear she slows the horse down.

Yoyo lets out a deep sigh, bracing herself for what comes next. Keeping her gaze focused on the horizon she reluctantly asks Sasha, “What are you complaining about now?”

*** ** *** **

For table of contents or to start from the beginning of Unthinkable Cramps click here, right here and nowhere else.

4 responses to “U.C. | Sasha & Yoyo in the Shapeshifting Factory”

  1. […] Ep. 9 – Sasha & Yoyo in the Shapeshifting Factory […]

  2. Oh God! The ending. Broke the spell of intense madness. Sasha just can’t grin and bear it. I really like the imagination and concepts employed in the storytelling. Well written, Tony. 🙂

    1. Thanks! Nothing like losing an arm doing a job you hate.

      1. Lol. So true, Tony. What all are you going to put them through?

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