Tiny Moments with Bloody Cop

​Jane Murky: Why are you punching so many holes in our living room wall?

Detective Murky: This is what happens when I hear Shania Twain.

Jane Murky: Shania Twain isn’t even on right now.

Detective Murky: I know. I’m just saying this is what would happen if she was on.

Jane Murky: Then you’re just being a jerk for no reason?

Detective Murky: Don’t put shade on me, lady.

Jane Murky: What?

Detective Murky: Just some slang I picked up on the street corners.

Jane Murky: What did I tell you about bringing street corners into this living room?

Detective Murky: Bugs are in my mouth.

Jane Murky: That’s what you get for being nasty.

Detective Murky: As of right now I am outlawing bugs from magically appearing in my mouth.

Jane Murky: Dammit, Gonza–uhh Google. What do you think you’re Google or something?

Detective Murky: I can’t believe you. I heard what you just said. You’re a sneaky little lady aren’t you? So tell me. How long have you been cheating on Bing with Google?

Jane Murky: You’re right, honey. I’m sorry. We’re monogamous with Bing. I didn’t mean anything by it.

Detective Murky: I’m finally starting to calm down now. My brain let’s me analyze things more clearly when I’m calm. And I think if I’m correct you said something before you said Google. What was it you said again?

Jane Murky: So you’re Brad Pitt? That don’t impress–

Detective Murky: Ow! There’s a stud there.

Published by tony espino

a human. for now.

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