Lousy – Dream Big

COLD OPEN

INT. JAKE AND CARLA’S KITCHEN – NIGHT

JAKE sits at the kitchen table. CARLA enters and pours herself a glass of Scotch. She sits across from Jake.

CARLA
Well, you look like shit.

JAKE
Sorry, Carla. I’m just really depressed. Feel so alone in this world.

CARLA
Don’t worry about it. It’s cute.

JAKE
You know my membership is due.

CARLA
To the gym? They still charge you
for that dump?

JAKE
You know what they say. One man’s
dump is another man’s gym. Plus it builds character. I need that as a fighter. I think.

CARLA
Right…character. Listen, I’m not
thrilled about supporting your dreams financially. So what’s really going on here, Jake?

JAKE
My gym membership is due. You pay
my gym membership.

CARLA
You’re home everyday pursuing this
“dream” of being a karate guy. But at any point today did you even train for this big fight coming up?

JAKE
I’ll get to it. I’m going to be the
greatest one day. You know?

CARLA
I DON’T know, Jake. You’re too
lazy. And I’m too drunk half the time to motivate you.

JAKE
You saying you don’t believe in me?

CARLA
It’s not that I don’t believe in
you. It’s that I don’t believe in YOU. Almost like you’re too bad to be true. Ya know?

JAKE
I’m going to give you the world one
day, Carla. With these two fists.

He holds up his dainty fists.

CARLA
We’ll see.

JAKE
How was the library today?

Carla takes a big swig of Scotch.

CARLA
This…what do you call her? This
bitch came in asking where our card catalog was.

JAKE
She’s so old.

CARLA
I told her I was going to give her
the middle finger for asking me that.

JAKE
You give ‘em hell. You’re just like
me. A fighter.

CARLA
Well you’re kind of a pussy.

JAKE
I’m not a pussy. I’m a
prizefighter. I hate how unclassy you become when you drink.

CARLA
Well maybe if you ate my pussy once
in a while I wouldn’t be so unclassy.

JAKE
I’m a prizefighter.

CARLA
I love you, Jake. But sometimes I
want to LOVE you.

JAKE
LOVE me?

CARLA
I want to love you like a dirty,
drunken librarian.

JAKE
You don’t get it. I told you I have
a big fight coming up. I need my legs under me.

CARLA
You could have THIS under you. But
I get it. Legs are more important.

JAKE
Proper footwork is of upmost
importance and often one of the most overlooked aspects of the fight game in general. I’m going to be the greatest one day. You know?

CARLA
Did you remember to call the pediatrician today?

JAKE
What the hell would
I do that for?

CARLA
For Zach, you idiot.

JAKE
Oh my god. That’s our–

CARLA
Our baby.

JAKE
Dammit. Where did I put her?

 CARLA
Him.

JAKE
That’s what I said. Him. It’s a
boy. Right?

Jake looks under the table to see if he left a baby there.