Disease Nuns

Before I wrote this I was strategically placed between a small canyon and an old cabin. I was placed there by men in lab coats as an experiment. I had always wanted to partake in a human experiment, so I did it.

The only food permitted was whatever I could forage in my environment. This consisted mostly of insects and plants I had never seen before. I gathered as many of these as I could and noshed on them with my man teeth. The sun vanished without setting. I never watched a sunset before so I supposed that it was just another myth. My feet were getting itchy at this point so I decided the cabin might make my feet un-itchy.

The doorknob was missing so I pushed it open and a bundle of open wounds on an elderly lady’s neck explained in detail that I was about to be embraced by a deadly odor. I had a switchblade in my boot that I borrowed from a gas station so fear of any odor at all never entered my mind.

There was an equally old lady in the corner rocking back and forth in a chair that was not designed for rocking. Her mouth was wide open with a portion of the sun hanging out. She was struggling with both hands to shove it in her mouth the rest of the way. A group of children gathered around her feet to splash in a puddle of her drool while peeling the skin off of each other. The old lady’s arm would occasionally pop out of socket and dangle there making the act of shoving the sun in her old mouth all the more difficult.

I sat down on a stack of bibles and took my shoes off. I rubbed my feet against the bumpy floor which turned out to be an even older lady’s back. A loud creaking sound accompanied her head as she turned it toward me to thank me for the massage. She dumped holy water on my feet and licked my toes in alphabetical order. The other elderly ladies followed suit. I didn’t stop them. I could have, but it felt so nice. And I like nice things. They said they had seen me on one of their vision quests that they would often go on with the aid of some nearby medicinal plants.

After they were done slurping on my toes they asked if I was thirsty to which I replied in a manner letting them know I was in serious thirst mode. They showed me a cabinet under a sink full of all their habits. They were soaking wet from being used to catch the water from the leaking pipe. I opened my mouth and rung out their filthy habits into my deathly dry mouth. If there was a heaven it was in my tongue cave.

I walked back outside to see a scientist in a lab coat focusing his attention on me. He apologized for not telling me I might dance in and out of reality a bit. I understood. I was, after all, part of a human experiment. Before he left I asked when said experiment would come to a close. He said a time I never heard of.

“What time is it now?”
“One o’clock,” he said.
“In the morning?”
“Afternoon.”

Then he left to go do science. It was still completely dark outside.