Dead Bod

TONY ESPINO DEAD BOD V1.1 ORIGINAL DATE 5/14/15

ELROY is crossing the street talking on his cell phone.

ELROY
(on phone)
I’ll be home in ten minutes as long
as I don’t get hit by a car. Oh no
a car!

Elroy gets hit by a car and falls down. A woman named STACY
runs over to him.

STACY
Oh my God! Look at you. You have
like the sexiest dead bod I’ve ever
seen.

ELROY
Ouch. What are you talking about? I
need help.

STACY
Aw. You’re so cute. I just love how
nonthreatening you are.

ELROY
Call an ambulance.

STACY
Oh come on. You don’t have to
change for me.

She sits down next to him.

ELROY
I’m dying.

STACY
Don’t be so coy. I like how you
don’t make me feel all insecure
around your dead bod. It’s a real
turn on.

ELROY
I don’t even know you.

STACY
Who cares? You have the number one
trending body style right now. Stop
complaining.

ELROY
Oww. So much pain.

Stacy takes a selfie with him on her phone then shows it to
him.

STACY
Check it out. So adorbs how you
like look like you have the body of
a dead person even though you’re
not.

She takes his face in her hands.

ELROY
Help.

STACY
Before you go. You should
know…you HAD the perfect dead
bod.

BLACKOUT