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Phantom Vol. 1

Phantom is the story, told by a narrator behind the wheel of a car, about a Phantom made out of loneliness by a Mad Lady. His unusual adventures begin when he becomes part of someone’s art collection against his will. 
Each folder entry seems to be composed of two parts: the narrator’s own journal entry and the story of the Phantom. The pages were lost and scattered over time and are just now beginning to be discovered. Volume 1 has been assembled in the same order in which the pages have been found to this point.

Detached

I threw myself through the roof again. I do this whenever people are over. People I don’t like. This anti-social behavior is the only thing keeping me alive. Me as in whatever part of me that’s floating across the street, not that body thing back there. I don’t know what the hell’s keeping that alive. It’s a place to keep my stuff, but that’s about it. I wouldn’t quite call it a home. Out here I’m slimy and unnatural like a demonic flying creature. This is what it’s like to be reborn. Or so I’m told. I’ve also seen people do things with chakras you couldn’t imagine. Put shoe polish on them and douse them in motor oil. Sometimes this causes chipping at the edges that can be mended with bits of tinfoil and rubber cement. Most chakra dealers try to paint the tinfoil to match the rest of the chakra. So it’s best to purchase in person to detect these flaws for yourself and avoid the dreaded task of trying to return a chakra. Easier to lose one. The chakra goblins, so long as they’re not on strike, have the most respected search and rescue team out there.

Like Ghost but Different

MEDIUM
I’m sensing the ghost of your mother. She brings wine and flowers.

CUSTOMER
Oh. That’s my mom. I just know it is.

MEDIUM
That’s what I said. I would know. She says she loves you.

CUSTOMER
I knew it. My mom LOVED me. She still does. I just know she does.

MEDIUM
Yup. She just told me. That’s how you know, because she just told me like I said. She’s showing me balloons. Any reason your mom would have balloons?

CUSTOMER
I mean she loves parties. And I guess they make her happy.

MEDIUM
No she says not parties. She hated parties.

CUSTOMER
Duh. That’s right. She always hated parties.

MEDIUM
Yes. I know. Were you supposed to do something for her?

CUSTOMER
Not that I can — wait. I was supposed to get the oil changed in the Volvo. She must have told me a thousand times to make sure —

MEDIUM
No. That’s not it. This is something more important she’s saying.

CUSTOMER
More important than the Volvo?

MEDIUM
Someting to do with business. This is some sort of family business.

CUSTOMER
Um…we don’t have a family business. Are you even sure that’s my mom? Are you for real?

MEDIUM
Yes. It is your mother. And she’s adamant about continuing the family business. Says it’s extremely important.

CUSTOMER
I don’t know what business you’re talking about, mister. But if that’s my mom ask her what my sign is.

MEDIUM
She’s mad that you’re avoiding the topic. She says your time with me is almost up and to pay attention.

CUSTOMER
Okaaaay. Mom. If that’s really her then ask her what my —

MEDIUM
She says Gemini. Split personalities. Pain in the ass.

CUSTOMER
Oh my god! Mom! Hiiiii!

MEDIUM
Drive people crazy. Annoy the hell out of everyone you meet. Love to waste people’s time.

CUSTOMER
Jeez, mom. Harsh. Doesn’t sound like you.

MEDIUM
Oh that’s all her. That’s not my opinion. She says your life depends on the family business.

CUSTOMER
We’re still talking about this?

MEDIUM
Whoa! Why is your mom showing me her whole asshole?

CUSTOMER
Why are you looking? Perv.

MEDIUM
Okay. This session is over.

CUSTOMER
I don’t think so. I still have time.

MEDIUM
She wants me to tell you that she’s shoving her hand up her ass.

CUSTOMER
Yeah right. Like she would —

MEDIUM
Oh wow. That’s so cool. She pulled out a balloon.

CUSTOMER
With helium?

MEDIUM
No. With heroin.

CUSTOMER
How does it float?

MEDIUM
Wait. Here’s another one.

CUSTOMER
She had two balloons up her butt?

MEDIUM
Three. No. Four. Wait. Five. No. Six. Now seven. Wait. Oh I don’t know what that is. Put that back.

CUSTOMER
Seven balloons of heroin in her butt? Cool. Alright. Tell my mom she’s a freak, but I love her. Byyeeee. Tell her to follow me on Insta.
Customer walks out the door satisfied with what she felt was a nice, normal conversation with her mother.

MEDIUM
(to ghost mom)
I’m not chasing after her. I have another appointment.

MOTHER
(VO)
She’s a stupid girl. She’s gonna get herself killed.

MEDIUM
That’s not my problem. I pass on messages. Like, “Hey your mom loves you.” Or, “Get that noise from the water heater checked out.”

MOTHER
(VO)
Well you didn’t pass on my message. You were fascinated with my asshole like some weird pervert.

MEDIUM
Sorry if ghosts don’t show me their insides EVER! How am i supposed to respond to that?

MOTHER
(VO)
Like a professional. Someone’s paying you.

MEDIUM
If you don’t mind I have other appointments.

MOTHER
(VO)
My daughter might not know everything about me.

MEDIUM
Ya think?

MOTHER
(VO)
I just need to borrow you for a minute to let her know about the family business.

MEDIUM
That you were a drug mule?

MOTHER
(VO)
They’re expecting her to take my place.

MEDIUM
To fill your shoes?

MOTHER
(VO)
To fill her virgin asshole with tons of heroin. But she needs practice.

MEDIUM
I’m gonna recommend another medium for you to contact. There’s a specialist in the valley, she deals with demonic creatures and necrophilia —

MOTHER
(VO)
What? No. This is on you. You were paid to deliver a message and you failed. It’s that simple.

MEDIUM
I’ll make sure to give her a full refund.

MOTHER
(VO)
Here’s what we’re going to do —

MEDIUM
What WE’RE gonna do?

MOTHER
(VO)
I’ll be with you to make sure you don’t screw this up.

MEDIUM
I’ll call her later and tell her she’s a drug mule now. That’s all I’m doing.

MOTHER
(VO)
You’re going to meet her in person and sit down with her and have a conversation. And I will be there and I will be part of that conversation.

MEDIUM
You obviously don’t know how this medium business works.

MOTHER
(VO)
And I’m guessing you don’t know how the business of shoving balloons of heroin up your ass for Mexican drug lords who will gut you like a pig if you screw up works do ya?

MEDIUM
(VO)
I’m self-employed.

MOTHER
(VO)
Well I’m your boss now. My daughter’s life is on the line. The cartel will be expecting her to do what I did. Not asking. Expecting. If she’s not prepared things will end horrifically. We need to get to her before they do. Like right now.

MEDIUM
Ugh. Why? I have a room full of people living and dead waiting for me.

MOTHER
(VO)
Who cares?

MEDIUM
I do. It’s my living. I’m not making any money tracking your daughter down for you.

MOTHER
(VO)
Some things are more important than money. You would be saving a life. What’s better than that? Muscle relaxers. You’re gonna need ‘em for the training phase.

Conspiracy Theory Killed by the Beautiful Fauna

There I happened, stupid.
This cartoony brain in a door
We filled with a beautiful theory
About a spotted dimension
Dreaming advice
Dreaming because
Dreaming remembers the giant
With paranormal forces to another head
Outlaw dreaming about
The implanted brain
MY head
This thing I can’t avoid
Entering everyone’s front door
Coughing, mining a rumor
We’re masquerading as dimensions

Underlining the Seconds

glued, thirsty human to shirt
you, me, some sweaty ceiling
the fan looks panicked
despite told-you-so window
the heart sits on ice
not in the character’s body
i’m sun, the exhausted
a growing glob of rattlesnakes
seeping into another adventure
with an optimistic umbrella
focused like poison
my clammy knees
are amazing

Tower Eighteen is Weak

disease-ridden filthy friends
disliked baseball and onions
threw out years
with basketball eyes
i almost know a lazy person
having skin and blood and wings
my memory’s flattened and faxed
i fear the oceans
wind skin, seashell thing
pulled me, rejected me
wished me happy birthday
disliked my reminded months
anticipation
friends
somewhere eerie me
feels discomfort
on brand and defective

Uncanny Potential

imagine a spider
overcoming silence
in waves of dirt
wearing a rat aura
creating the chapter’s inside
a boneless caretaker
spider footsteps inside you
appear older
like a lonely, old crack
tears change from hot to argue
there’s an underneath
the beating butterflies
the spider sets free its entrails
slipping carnage
a dustpan